


i will come to you

by encoru



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fantasy, Goblin!AU, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Character Death, grim reaper!ksoo, tooth fairy!bbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 15:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14239989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/encoru/pseuds/encoru
Summary: Kyungsoo is used to welcoming the dead but as spring rolls in, a new challenge also comes to him.It's the memories untold, blooming into a new life.(Goblin!AU)





	i will come to you

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i binge-watched goblin a week ago and got plagued by feels. this is the product of my emotional investment. heavily inspired by the kdrama (wangyeo and sunny's story, specifically). i also wrote this while listening to the OST on loop haha so you're bound to see similarities with the drama here and there. 
> 
> my biggest thank you's go to shie for the invaluable help she contributed in making me finish this fic ❤
> 
> this is my first take on fantasy au so i apologize in advance but i hope you'd still enjoy it ;;

Death comes to him on a Sunday morning, in the middle of spring, when the nation’s blanketed with a spread of white and cherry blossoms.

Kyungsoo sighs and stifles a yawn. He’s supposedly off-duty today but he was forced to come to work and show the rookie around after his co-workers got called to attend to the bus accident in Busan.

“When’s he supposed to come out?” The rookie who goes by the name of Jongin asks beside him.

“In a few.” Kyungsoo checks his wristwatch. “Two minutes left.”

Their guest should’ve come 20 minutes ago but Kyungsoo doesn’t tell this to Jongin. While the guest’s name that’s written on the card is certain, their arrival time could differ, depending on the situation.

The delay is usually caused by unfinished business in the mortal world. Of relatives whispering things in the deceased’s ear a few seconds before they die — apologies, declarations of love, regrets — human emotions that make it difficult for the soul to leave as they try to hold on to the last thread of life, wanting to say something back but failing.

There’s also the occasional prayer vigil that humans attempt in desperation, thinking that it would make the deceased come back to life, but these are few and far in between. Vigils that wish for the dead to have a safe and peaceful journey in the afterlife are more commonplace, like the one that’s being held for their incoming guest right now.

Jongin nudges him on the elbow. “That kid is not listening to the prayer.”

Kyungsoo follows Jongin’s line of sight. Amidst a small crowd, he sees a 10-year old child standing at the opposite corner of the room, too immersed in prodding his little fingers on a scrap of rectangular metal that shines through his eyes, his movement producing a steady _tap, tap_ through the hushed sounds of crying and praying. Behind him stands a man around Kyungsoo’s height, his hands planted firmly on the child’s shoulders.

His hair reminds Kyungsoo of the colors of spring — a faded pink.

Oddly enough, he’s the only color that stands out among a crowd of humans dressed in black.

Perhaps he’s the child’s guardian, or a teacher who passed by to pay his respects, judging from his dress shirt and the sling bag that hangs on his shoulders.

“It is beyond my understanding,” Kyungsoo thinks out loud, “how a single scrap of metal could interest humans more than witnessing the passing of their loved one.”

Jongin scoffs. “That’s kids for you these days.” Then he looks at him, incredulous. “Wait, did you just call a smartphone as a ‘scrap of metal’?”

Kyungsoo holds his stare. “I do not partake in acquiring information about worldly pleasures.”

“You’re just bluffing, hyung. How old are you again?”

“Three hundred years old,” Kyungsoo says without a beat. “I am two-hundred ninety nine, to be exact, as I heard I was born earlier in the year, but I do not like to overcomplicate things.”

Jongin sighs. His shoulders drop and his lips jut out into a pout. “You’re really old, and yet you know nothing.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrow twitches. “What did you say?”

Before Jongin could say anything else, their guest for the day finally rises, leaving behind his mortal body and his family drenched in tears of sorrow. Everyone in the room is dressed in black to signify their mourning as they had seen it coming, and yet the tears still overflow and their cries ring out loud, as if the departure of the deceased is being presented to them for the first time.

But then again, Kyungsoo reminds himself, everything is regrettable in the face of death.

If there’s anyone who always comes prepared for it, it’s not humans.

It’s them, the grim reapers.

Jongin rushes towards the newly departed soul and introduces himself. Tugging his wide-brimmed hat lower, Kyungsoo clears his throat and follows suit, striding across the room.

“Your name is Kim Sook Bin, 78 years old, born on May 3, 1940.” Kyungsoo locks eyes with the departed. “Do you confirm this information?”

Kim Sook Bin died of cardiac arrest, exacerbated by old age. Understanding paints his features, like he’s been expecting this, but tears still pool at the corner of his eyes.

Farewells have never been humans’ greatest forte.

“Yes,” The deceased says under his breath, eyes gone soft as he stares at a spot on the wall.

Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder and sees the same child, the deceased’s youngest grandson, crying into his palms. The scrap of metal that was previously in his hands is now nowhere to be found. The reality of what just occurred seems to have struck him just now.

They say children are too young to fully understand what death entails but Kyungsoo begs to disagree for death spares no one, not even the young.

The child’s guardian is now kneeling beside him, hand patting the weeping child’s head gently, a gesture humans do, Kyungsoo has learned, to comfort their kind.

“He’ll be alright,” Kyungsoo says.

In that moment, the guardian looks up and stares at him from beneath his lashes — from beneath his fringe of faded pink that hangs over his eyes. His mouth hangs open, and then his eyes crinkle behind his round frames, his cheeks scrunching up as his mouth curls into a smile, warm and almost blinding, brighter than anything Kyungsoo has seen in the room and in the past almost-three hundred years.

Light comes to him, in the middle of spring, when the room is filled with a sea of black yet all he could suddenly see is pink.

 

\---

 

The next time they meet, the air is cleared from any traces of grief. It’s replaced by the sweet scent of flowers hanging in the atmosphere, as apricot blossoms and yellow trees join the blanket of pink coming in full bloom.

It’s a good time for humans, just as it is for the unliving like Kyungsoo. Spring gives way to sunnier days and vibrant colors, to fresh breeze and delicate warmth. Unlike in the bare and freezing winter, humans are happier during this season which means less death and less work for the grim reapers.

Kyungsoo takes a stroll in the human world and puts on his mortal disguise, taking advantage of the cozy day to sample one of the best Japanese-Peruvian restaurants in town. If there’s anything he’s grateful for in this life of immortality, it’s this ability to live long enough to experience the evolution of the earth’s cuisine.

He starts to dig in on his white fish ceviche when he spots a familiar figure, causing him to freeze mid-bite.

It’s the child guardian which he saw on the job not too long ago. The man regards him warmly, his smile still as bright and perfect as Kyungsoo remembers it to be, and he feels a spark sizzle on his skin.

Spring this year is warmer than what he initially thought. Maybe he’s having a dizzy spell.

Kyungsoo drops the chunk of food he has gathered on his fork when the guardian sits on the chair across his table.

Thinking the human has just probably committed a mistake, he snaps out of his reverie and resumes eating.

“Hello.”

Kyungsoo almost chokes on his food.

The man is still smiling, and just when Kyungsoo thought he couldn’t have possibly get brighter, his grin even widens. He tries not to take notice of the tiny mole dotted just above the man’s upper lip, but his eyes have already fallen on this minuscule detail before he could even stop himself.

“Hello?” The man repeats himself. “How are you?”

Kyungsoo pretends to look around, then points at himself. The man just nods.

“Have we met before?” He asks.

“We ran into each other last week, remember?” The man answers, amusement dancing in his eyes. “You were the one who came for Jihoon’s grandpa when he died.”

Kyungsoo feels his blood run cold. Immediately, he reaches over to cover the man’s eyes.

Only a select few are gifted with the Eye, those who could see ghosts and entities like himself beyond the mortal realm. Despite this, they’re still _human_ , and Kyungsoo’s not sure if the ability to See excludes them from the effects that making eye contact with a grim reaper could do. It’s better to be preventive than be sorry later.

The man pries his hands away, a mix of bewilderment and annoyance evident on his face. “Hey, hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

A few heads turn to their direction and Kyungsoo, growing embarrassed in each passing second, reluctantly sinks back to his seat. As gently as he could, he grabs his hat and puts it back on, tugging it lower until it covers his eyes, expecting to vanish now from the man’s sight.

The man chuckles. “What do you think you’re doing this time?” The man asks. “You know I could still see you, right?”

“You shall not make eye contact with me, human,” Kyungsoo says sternly, “You don’t know what a reaper could do.”

 _This meeting in itself should have never happened in the first place_ , Kyungsoo muses. Meeting with a reaper signifies death, and while he hasn’t received the name card of this mortal yet, only god knows if he’ll receive it in the next day, week, or month after.

Somehow, despite doing this for a hundred years, the thought of ushering the soul of this human in the afterlife doesn’t sit well with him.

He’s encountered several vengeful souls and demons in this lifetime along with some brave humans who could See, but what he doesn’t expect is for a man who’s reckless enough to grab him by the face and force him to look directly into his eyes.

“Your eyes are too beautiful to be hidden under that hideous hat,” The man says, his breath a light tickle on Kyungsoo’s skin, “And I’m not a mortal so you don’t have to worry about accidentally hurting me with your gaze, reaper.”

The man lets him go, eyes twinkling with mirth as he leans back in his seat. Kyungsoo tries his best to focus on the strange color of his hair, but his eyes keep getting drawn to the man’s mouth instead.

“You can stare all you want,” The man adds as an afterthought, coupled with a wink.

Something thumps in Kyungsoo’s chest, blooming faster than he could have ever imagined.

 

“My name is Baekhyun,” the man introduces himself later. He has decided to join Kyungsoo on his stroll in the Hangang river where a tunnel of azaleas and cherry blossoms hang above them, providing a beautiful shade from the bright afternoon sun. “And I’m a spirit.”

Kyungsoo stops in his tracks, turns to face Baekhyun and regard him from head to toe. Spirits often take their last human form when they cross over to the next realm, and Baekhyun is no different: an oversized striped shirt draped over his broad frame, dark slacks, and a tiny sling bag constitute his look. Kyungsoo idly wonders what was his last activity on earth before he died.

Still, that doesn’t explain why Kyungsoo failed to immediately recognize him as a spirit. It should have been obvious from the first time they met — his lifeline as a reaper heavily depends on greeting the souls of the deceased, and yet, here they are.

Perhaps, he’s one of those spirits that his seniors often gush about? The ones who have been strangely fated to be stuck between the living and the dead?

“Are you a missing soul?” Kyungsoo asks, eyebrows furrowing as the gears turn in his head.

He’s met with a laugh. The trees sway above them, the wind gushing as if the flowers also found his question funny.

“And here I thought you were checking me out with how hard you were staring at me,” Baekhyun teases. “I was beginning to think you find me cute too, but I guess I was wrong.”

Kyungsoo blinks, dazed, unable to string words that could compose a decent reply to what the other man has just said.

Instead, he remains rooted to the spot, entranced by how Baekhyun’s lips easily curve into a smile, at how the color of his hair mirror the colors of spring, at how his entire being seems to reflect the sun shining up above.

“What are you?” Kyungsoo asks.

Baekhyun resumes walking, skipping gleefully as he kicks the fallen flowers on the ground. Kyungsoo brisk-walks to catch up to him.

“Don’t you think you should give me your name first?”

“I am Kyungsoo," He complies, "Three hundred years old, two-hundred ninety-nine to be exact, but I do not want to —”

“Overcomplicate things?” Baekhyun finishes off for him, then laughs. The trees shake above them, causing the flowers to fall, like a rain of white and pink petals. “So you just rounded off your age. You’re one interesting reaper, aren’t you?”

A smile fights its way into Kyungsoo lips and he covers his mouth with a hand. He clears his throat, collects what little composure he has left.

“I did not expect you to recognize me. I’ve always been careful with my mortal disguise.”

It’s Baekhyun’s turn to regard his form, and Kyungsoo tries not to squirm under his gaze. He’s met a hundred spirits in this experience as a reaper, so he doesn’t know why this one, in particular, makes him feel this way. Strange.

“How could anyone _not_ know you’re a reaper?” Baekhyun shoots back, a lilt in his voice. “You’re covered in black from head to toe. Even if I was not a spirit, I would have probably thought the same thing.”

Kyungsoo knits his brows. His job requires him to wear a black suit all the time, but the rest of his wardrobe share the similar color because he hasn’t really been comfortable in wearing anything else.

Clutching his dark coat to himself, he asks, “Am I really that obvious?”

Baekhyun laughs again, loud and clear, and a fresh breeze gushes past them. “You’re dressed like winter in the middle of spring.”

“Do you think I should change my disguise?”

Baekhyun walks towards him until he invades his personal space. Kyungsoo stiffens and prepares himself  — spirits sometimes try to pull pranks on him — but all Baekhyun does is smooth out the edges of his coat. Satisfied, he pats his chest and continues his stroll.

“Nah, I’m kidding. You’re fine the way you are.” Baekhyun lets out a small smile, his teeth barely showing. “Black suits you well. I like it.”

“Thank you.”

“You look regal with it,” Baekhyun says, “As you have always been.”

Kyungsoo snorts. “Regal is quite a stretch. I am not befitting of such a title.”

Baekhyun halts, rubs his chin in deep thought, and then his eyes widen as an idea pops up in his head. “Then, would you be rather called cute?”

Kyungsoo gasps, eyes widening in bewilderment. He’s lived long enough to know what humans mean when they utter the word _cute._

“How can you call a grim reaper c-c-cute?!”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Why not?”

Baekhyun pauses, looks at him once, and then laughs. His whole face scrunches up as he does, eyes crinkling into crescents. The wind whistles around them, the flowers swirl, and the sun shines brighter until all Kyungsoo could feel is warmth on his skin.

For the first time in a while, Kyungsoo feels a spark of life surge within him.

The familiarity is both scary and thrilling when he knows that he, above anyone else, shouldn’t feel anything.

 

\---

 

Rain showers the earth when they cross paths for the third time. Strangely enough, the skies are clear and the sun is still shining. Human folklore says sun showers occur when a wedding between two foxes happen. In the realm of spirits, rumors say it’s caused by a fairy’s grief, especially when it happens during spring.

Kyungsoo sees Baekhyun hunched over the bed of an adolescent girl, face morose and tear tracks lining his cheeks.

“Oh my god, why now?” Baekhyun blurts out when he sees him, voice raspy and shaking. He hugs the girl. “Please tell me it’s not this child.”

Kyungsoo sighs, remembers the details of the name card he's received. “Don’t worry, it’s not her.” Baekhyun doesn’t seem convinced. Kyungsoo sighs again. “It’s her grandmother sleeping in the next room.”

Baekhyun breathes a sigh of relief. The girl on the bed is curled up in a fetal position, her face buried in her pillows as sobs rack her lithe body. Whether she knows or not that her relative will be leaving the mortal world soon, Kyungsoo is not sure.

Baekhyun caresses the girl’s head, brushes away the few strands of hair that got stuck to her damp skin.

“C-can you put it off for another day?” Baekhyun says without looking at Kyungsoo, his gaze still fixed on the crying child. Above them, tiny fairy lights flicker in succession. “She’s been having a tough week, now is not really the best time —”

“It is beyond my ability to control a mortal’s time in this world,” Kyungsoo cuts off. A glance at his wristwatch tells him the girl’s grandmother has thirty minutes and forty-four seconds before she breathes her last. “I do not meddle with a human’s life.”

Baekhyun stands up. “But you are a reaper!”

“I am a _reaper,”_ Kyungsoo enunciates firmly, stares at Baekhyun directly in the eye. “My duty ends and begins when a human life perishes.”

Baekhyun looks like he wants to say something back but he doesn’t. He simply turns around and sinks back to his knees, goes back to comforting the girl like Kyungsoo has seen him do earlier.

Kyungsoo takes it as his cue to leave. Proceeding to the next room, he prepares to welcome the deceased, the ritual nothing short of muscle memory to him by now.

 

The rain dies down by nightfall. The fresh scent of the earth hangs in the air, the soil still damp from the downpour. A full moon peeks out from between the clouds, illuminating the dark canvas of the sky.

Kyungsoo perches on the rooftop of his apartment building, one of his favorite spots to lounge at after work. To his surprise, he finds Baekhyun sitting there too, his broad shoulders and pink hair unmistakable even in the darkness.

A strong wind blows in their direction. Kyungsoo notices Baekhyun hasn’t put on anything else aside from his striped button-down. He considers going back to his apartment unit to get Baekhyun something warmer to wear until the other man speaks up.

“I’m a fairy,” Baekhyun says. He scratches his head and pouts. “You can judge me now.”

“I..I didn’t even say anything yet,” Kyungsoo says.

Baekhyun huffs. “I am officially giving you permission to judge me because I know you will. _Everyone_ judges me whenever I tell them the truth about myself. What’s so bad about being a fairy anyway? It’s not my fault that I was reborn like this!”

A chuckle escapes Kyungsoo. “Like I said, I didn’t even say anything yet. I’m not judging you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun wags a finger in his face. “Don’t lie to me, reaper. I can see it in your eyes.”

Sighing in defeat, Kyungsoo shakes his head. “If you are really a fairy like you claim to be, how come you don’t have those —” He traces the shape in the air, “—translucent and shiny fairy wings?”

“If you’re really a reaper, how come you don’t have a scythe?” Baekhyun shoots back. “You only have the all-black outfit down pat. You should’ve gone all-out, otherwise, humans will just think you’re a college boy cosplaying a grim reaper.”

Kyungsoo blinks. “Did you just compare me to a college boy?”

“Look at you,” Baekhyun continues, “You’re small, you’re young, your eyes could get really round when you’re surprised.” Grinning widely, Baekhyun pats his cheek and fake-coos. “How could anyone believe that an entity who collects the souls of the dead is someone as cute as you?”

“Stop calling me cute,” Kyungsoo hisses.

Baekhyun’s grin widens. “I’m only saying the truth.”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says, voice growing deeper and lower. Around them, the temperature drops. “You seem to forget that I am a reaper. Do you want me to personally usher you to the afterlife?”

Baekhyun shakes his head and scoots farther away from him, visibly scared. Satisfied with the reaction he just earned, Kyungsoo smirks.

“For the record, you don’t look like a fairy yourself either,” Kyungsoo says later, but it’s more of him thinking out loud once again. “The first time I saw you, I thought you were the child’s guardian who just happened to drop by.”

“I guess you could call me a guardian,” Baekhyun admits. “I deal with children, after all. My duty is to fulfill their wishes.”

“Like a guardian angel.”

Baekhyun smiles. “A fairy godmother would be more accurate in human terms.” Kyungsoo wants to argue that he’s not knowledgeable enough in mortal affairs, but Baekhyun quickly waves him off. “I’m a tooth fairy, to be exact.”

“A tooth fairy,” Kyungsoo repeats blankly.

Baekhyun flashes him a grin in response, showing his full row of teeth as if to prove his point. Kyungsoo thinks it’s only a given that a tooth fairy would have perfect molars, but he doesn’t know if it’s normal for Baekhyun’s kind to have a smile so radiant too.

“What do you exactly do?” He asks, genuinely interested.

Baekhyun snorts, like he’s been expecting this question. He opens his sling bag, grabs a handful of something unknown. When he retracts his hand, his fist is already closed, and he presents it to Kyungsoo.

“Open it.”

Kyungsoo eyes Baekhyun suspiciously but does as he’s told, gently prying open the other man’s closed fist. What he discovers on the fairy’s palm has him immediately pulling back.

Kyungsoo points an accusing finger to Baekhyun’s hand, eyes wide as saucers. “What are those?”

Baekhyun roars with laughter, his entire body shaking. Below them, the trees also convulse, apricot blossoms swaying with the wind.

When he’s done, tears have already gathered at the corner of his eyes. He knocks on his chest and catches his oxygen before he speaks.

“I can’t believe that you, a guardian of death, would be afraid of baby teeth, of all things,” He says, wiping away his tears. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in years.”

Kyungsoo just throws him a flat stare. “They’re gross.”

The smile on Baekhyun’s face falters. “They’re not gross.” He puts the teeth back into his sling bag. “They’re baby teeth, Kyungsoo.”

Deciding it would be futile to argue, Kyungsoo just lifts his eyebrows in agreement. “What do you do with them?”

“I use them to grant children’s wishes,” Baekhyun explains with a smile. “Children whose baby teeth fall out throw them on the roof like this-” He stands up and pitches an invisible object in the sky. “- while wishing for one thing. I collect the teeth thrown on the roof, then grant whatever wish that’s laced in them. That’s it, basically.”

“That is such a noble job,” Kyungsoo says. Baekhyun mumbles him a soft _thanks_. “But what does that have to do with you shedding your own tears over weeping children?”

Baekhyun plops back down on the roof. A glance at his fallen expression makes Kyungsoo immediately regret asking the question.

“I’m sorry, my curiosity got ahead of me. If it’s a taboo subject among your kind, you don’t have to answer—”

“It’s fine,” Baekhyun says. “I was actually beginning to wonder if you’ve noticed that, but you caught up on it pretty fast.”

“The children are like my babies,” Baekhyun adds, “That kid from this afternoon? Her name is Jieun. I used to be her imaginary childhood friend.”

Kyungsoo nods in understanding. Spirits forming earthly bonds with humans gifted with the Eye are not unheard of.  “Can she see you?”

“She used to be able to,” Baekhyun swallows thickly, “We used to play a lot..until she grew up and just stopped seeing me.”

Baekhyun fiddles with the hem of his sleeves. “You could probably say she outgrew me. I know some children aren’t supposed to see fairies forever but,” Baekhyun smiles, or tries to, because it doesn’t reach his eyes, “I didn’t know it would hurt this much to be forgotten. I just wanted to be there for her when she’s hurting, y’know? How can I do that when she can’t see me anymore?”

“It’s not your fault,” Kyungsoo says.

He means it. The human mind is a fickle thing. Memories are just as fleeting as the change of seasons in the mortal world.

“It _is_ ,” Baekhyun counters. He takes off his glasses, rubs his eyes. “I know it’s stupid to forge a friendship with a human, but I still did. But how could I not when she’s one of the rare few who can see me?”

Kyungsoo reaches out a hand and pats Baekhyun on the head, like he’s seen him do a couple of times with the children he was trying to comfort. Baekhyun’s hair feels soft under his fingertips and Kyungsoo wonders if the gesture works on adult spirits too.

“I am here,” Kyungsoo says when Baekhyun just stares at him, “I can see you.”

At this, Baekhyun smiles again, bright and genuine. Kyungsoo is starting to think maybe it is _indeed_ a tooth fairy thing to radiate warmth whenever they flash their teeth.

“Can you promise me that you won’t forget me then, reaper?” Baekhyun asks.

Kyungsoo pauses. Baekhyun’s words ring familiar in his ears. Suddenly, a sting shoots up from his chest all the way down to his toes.

It hurts.

 

\---

 

“ _Can you promise me that you won’t forget me?” The man asks._

_Below them, clouds sweep over the mountain tops, trees shake as the wind howls. Fireflies dance above them, providing tiny glimmering lights that slice through the otherwise thick canvass of the night sky._

_“I won’t,” He answers. Placing a hand on his chest, he makes a promise sworn with his heart. “Even when the seasons change, even when we grow wrinkly and old, I won’t forget you._

_“I will always remember you, in this lifetime, and even in the next.”_

_The man smiles in response, soft and comforting._

_The moon watches them._

_They would learn later on that it is the first of the many promises that they would break._

 

_\---_

 

Kyungsoo wakes up with a start. Sweat trickles down his temples and his heart hammers against its cage. Clutching his chest, he discovers he can’t breathe properly. The sting he’s felt the other night is back, now stronger and running bone-deep.

He wipes his brow and comes in contact with damp cheeks. He realizes he’s also been crying.

The recurring dream is becoming more frequent recently and he can’t figure out why, when all these years all he’s seen in his sleep is pitch-black. But what baffles him more is the excruciating sadness that usually comes along with it, which seems to stem from within.

Kyungsoo doesn’t understand. He’s not human. Humans who have been plagued with this emotion are often the ones who perish.

He’s dead. He can’t die again.

Or could this be another punishment the Almighty has chosen to bestow upon him, to make him suffer for the rest of eternity?

Giving up on going back to sleep, he washes his face and dresses warmly for the day.

The sun is already shining brightly when he steps out of his apartment despite the early morning. The cherry blossoms in front of their building look more vivid in color too, every bud now in full bloom. It’s as if spring is twice as vibrant in their neighborhood.

Kyungsoo peeks into his mailbox, sees a couple of envelopes inside. He inspects the name cards placed in them. The most urgent one is stamped at 4:05 pm. He checks his wristwatch, he still has nine hours before work officially starts.

He gathers the envelopes and turns to the opposite direction when a mop of pink hair catches his eyes out of his peripheral.

Kyungsoo has never turned around so fast.

“Fairy?”

There, standing a meter away is Baekhyun, a smile already plastered on his lips.

It’s still early, but Kyungsoo swears the sun is already blinding. Usually, he’d complain about the light hurting his eyes yet for some reason, he couldn’t manage to take his gaze off this one.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Baekhyun asks as he approaches him. “I already told you before: the reaper’s deathly stare doesn’t work on me.”

“It’s because you shine brighter than the sun,” Kyungsoo replies.

Baekhyun blinks at him for a few seconds, mouth hanging open, taken aback. Kyungsoo stares at his front teeth poking out, then realizes belatedly what he just said.

Unable to backtrack now, he changes the topic, decides to focus on the two balloons Baekhyun’s holding instead. He points at them, then asks, “What are those for?”

“Oh,” Baekhyun says, looking up at the balloons, as if he’s momentarily forgotten he’s holding them, “These are presents for the kid living on the big house on the next street. He wished for balloons on his birthday.”

Kyungsoo hums. “So you’re actually working right now?”

“I am,” Baekhyun huffs, “I don’t just laze around all day, y’know. Being a tooth fairy is not as easy as you think.”

Kyungsoo scratches his ear. “I didn’t even say anything...”

“Why were you asking anyway?” Baekhyun narrows his eyes, “Do you want to go out on a date?”

“What?”

“You look like you could use some company,” Baekhyun grins, “Tell you what, why don’t we hang out after I finish my work? I just need to deliver these balloons, then get a few stuff for some five other kids in this town.” He purses his lips, glances at his wristwatch. “Shouldn’t take that long, I’ll probably be done by twelve noon. Call?”

Kyungsoo wants to say _yes_ , wants to say his work doesn’t start until the afternoon and that’s he’s basically free the entire day. No one has _ever_ asked him out on a date before — not in this lifetime if his memory serves him right (who’d want to go out with a grim reaper, after all?) — and because of that he’s infinitely curious, but most of all, he just wants to know more about Baekhyun, because there’s something about the fairy that draws him in.

Maybe it’s because of his smile, maybe it’s because he seems to bring spring everywhere he goes, Kyungsoo doesn’t know.

But that’s why he’s eager to find out.

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to respond when he hears the loud clanking of the wind chimes in his home, the signal of sudden death coming. He looks at the envelopes in his hand, sees a new stack materialize on his palm out of thin air.

It must be a road accident.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo apologizes, refusing to meet Baekhyun’s eyes, “Emergency call at work.”

He puts on his hat. “I’ll see you around.”

A crease forms in between Baekhyun’s brows, worry writing itself on his face. “I hope there are no children on your list.”

Kyungsoo just nods. He wishes he had something nice to say in return, anything that could ease Baekhyun’s worries.

“I can’t promise that,” is all he manages to say. With a bow, he begins to leave.

Baekhyun waves him goodbye, shoulders sagging as he watches Kyungsoo’s retreating back.

 

The emergency call is caused by a massive car accident in Ilsan. The scene comprises ten cars including a school bus and a truck, and everyone involved dies.

They’re expecting 30 casualties in total. Kyungsoo joins the rest of his colleagues waiting on the side of the road; their team are tasked to welcome at least five souls each.

Jongin greets him with a wave. Kyungsoo gives him a curt nod.

“How many children are expected to die in here?” He asks, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Twelve,” Jongin replies. “The entire school bus.”

His grip on the envelopes tightens, recalling the conversation he just had with Baekhyun. He doesn’t know why he suddenly feels guilty; in his defense, he didn’t make any promises.

“Why are you asking, hyung?”

“Is it not my place to ask?” Kyungsoo counters, sounding sterner than he intended.

“Jeez, don’t get angry at me, you’re scary,” Jongin pouts, “I was just curious, is all. You never bothered about these details before. Remember what you told me when we first met?”

Kyungsoo remembers. It’s been less than a month ago when Jongin got introduced to him as an addition to their team, and Kyungsoo had been tasked to train him personally. His first assignment was an infant who died in childbirth. Jongin spent the rest of the day crying over the child, mourning for the life that could have been.

“Death spares no one,” Kyungsoo repeats his own words, then adds, “I was just curious too.”

“Don’t tell me you’re turning soft,” Jongin teases, nudging him on the shoulder.

Kyungsoo brushes him away and looks straight ahead, the screech of the car tires on the pavement the tell-tale that the death they’re waiting for is coming soon.

“By the way, hyung..have you heard?” Jongin whispers. “Junmyeon-hyung has been suspended from duty for a few weeks.”

Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow in interest. “What happened?”

Jongin looks around, then covers his mouth before he speaks, afraid someone else might hear them. “He regained his memories.”

Kyungsoo perks up, eyes wide. “What, h-how?”

“He accidentally held his wife’s hand,” Jongin explains, shaking his head. “Unbelievable, isn’t it? But I feel sorry for Junmyeon-hyung. I heard her wife’s married to another man in this lifetime.”

Kyungsoo has heard the rumors, of grim reapers regaining their memories when they hold the hand of a loved one’s reincarnation and see themselves in the person’s past life. It happens, regardless if the gesture is deliberate or not on the reaper’s end.

However, reapers reuniting with the reincarnation of someone they know is extremely rare. They could try, but most of those who have braved this possibility has only returned with empty results and the unwanted memories of a person they never knew.

Grim reapers have memories of their past life completely wiped out so they could perform their duty without any reservations. Kyungsoo figures that in itself is enough reason why everyone in their team should just move on.

“Hyung, have you ever wondered about your past life?” Jongin asks.

Kyungsoo shrugs. He thinks about the dream he’s been having recently, the conversations that he’s heard in the dream, the inexplicable sadness it always brings in the morning when he wakes up. Sometimes, he ponders if the dream is connected to his previous life dating a thousand years back or if they are merely memories he’s gained from others in this lifetime, but has regressed in his mind.

“No,” He answers, “I don’t think my past is of any importance to who I am right now.”

Jongin peers at him, looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t press on the subject anymore.

Kyungsoo clutches his coat tighter around his body and ignores the dull ache in his heart. There’s no one else he needs to convince aside from himself, and if he had managed to pretend he’s alright in the past three hundred years, he’s sure he could do the same in the next century too.

 

The deceased is named Oh Seung Hoon, 29 years old, born on July 13, 1984. He’s the driver of the sedan who got caught in the disastrous car crash from today. He died of extreme blood loss.

He’s the sixth and last soul to enter Kyungsoo’s tea room, the final stop of the deceased before they ascend to the heavens. Kyungsoo watches him sit across the table, head hanging low between shoulders, furiously rubbing on his eyes.

“Oh m-merciful lord,” The man sobs, “I’m supposed to g-get m-married this week..w-why do I have to die now?”

Kyungsoo breathes a deep sigh. He doesn’t have the patience nor the time to correct mortals who think he’s the Almighty; he’s just another being who works for him. On a similar note, he can’t find it in himself to sympathize with this human either. Humans who leave the mortal world with unfinished business unsettle him, but there’s nothing he could do about it.

“Because all things must end, including life. For you, that end is now,” Kyungsoo says simply. He inches the tea towards the other man. “This is the tea of oblivion. Drink this and it shall erase your memories from this life.”

The deceased looks at the tea presented to him for a moment and then lifts the cup with shaky hands. “D-Does this mean my..my love for my fiance will be erased too?”

“The erasure of your memory will purge you from all your sins,” Kyungsoo explains, “It will help you ascend at peace as the heavens prepare you to be reborn in your next life.”

The man weeps harder, his cries echoing in the four corners of the small room.

“Your fiance will live a long life,” Kyungsoo says softly, “She will be fine.”

“T-thank you,” The man chokes out, “Thank you, your mercy.”

Kyungsoo watches the man bring the cup to his lips, tears streaming from his eyes as he finishes the tea. The man leaves the room shortly after, throwing a small smile his way before he opens the door that will lead him to the heavens.

Kyungsoo examines the empty cup on the table, reminds himself he was among the billions of who once drank the tea of oblivion. He wonders what sins he might have committed in his past life to be tasked to administer the tea in this lifetime.

He’s probably better off not knowing.

 

_\---_

 

_His name was Boxian and he moved as light as the wind. Heavens must favor him, the prophets once said, for the sun followed him wherever he went. Each slice of his sword bore the weight of victory; each armor on his body bore his oath to the land. The Warrior of Spring, they called him._

_His name was Jingxiu and he moved as regal as the sky. Heavens must favor him, the prophets once said, for the Warrior followed him wherever he went. Each word that he said bore a force that cut like a sword, each decree that he said bore the strength of the earth. The Majestic Crown Prince, they called him._

 

_He was wind and he was sky._

_He was earth and he was light._

 

_Together, they swore to protect the land they call home, swords and heavy armor clasped on their bodies as they set out on a mission in the middle of a freezing winter. A hundred other men with the heart of valor followed after them, ready to fight as they would order._

_Together, they promised to return before the blossoms open and bloom._

_But as brutal as the war was and as cruel was their fate, only one of them managed to make it back home._

 

_\---_

 

“Boxian…” He cries. A sob racks his body. “Boxian...don’t leave me, please.”

Kyungsoo wakes up with tears streaming from his eyes, his arm raised in the air, holding out to nothingness.

He gets up and heads to the kitchen, switching on the lights. The dream is still vivid in his mind, coupled with a name he’s never heard of before. _Boxian_ , he tested on his tongue. The name doesn’t ring a bell.

Heavy sobs continue to tear from his throat and he holds onto the kitchen counter for support, shoulders shaking as the pain flooded him in waves. Kyungsoo gasps, the weight in his chest unrelenting. He doesn’t understand where the profound sadness is coming from.

When he raises his head, he sees tiny, glimmering lights dancing in the sky through his window. Kyungsoo straightens, blinks the tears away. The tiny lights are still there, moving in sync as if inviting him. He’s never seen fireflies in pink.

Wiping his eyes, Kyungsoo goes out of his apartment and jumps to his rooftop. To his amusement, the tiny pink lights have now multiplied by a tenfold, appearing like a sea of stars that has descended on earth.

In the center of them, he finds Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo prompts, “Is this your doing?”

Baekhyun turns around with a startle, and all the lights suddenly scatter. “I just happened to pass by!”

Kyungsoo watches the lights dance right above him. He reaches out a hand and a tiny speck lands on his finger.

“Don’t get any other ideas,” Baekhyun says, scratching his head, “I was on my way home when I noticed that a kid threw their fallen tooth on your roof. I flew here to inspect but I, uh, didn’t find anything which, by the way, is super weird. “ He rubs his chin. “Was it just my imagination? I don’t know. So..here I am, walking on your roof because I was searching for a baby tooth and not because I was stalking you, let’s make that clear..wait, you’re not even listening.”

“They’re beautiful,” Kyungsoo says in amazement. A smile pulls at his lips, entranced, the tiny lights now encircling his form.

“Thanks,” Baekhyun replies, smiling. “And yeah, they’re mine.”

“That’s amazing,” Kyungsoo laughs, “You literally carry light with you now.”

“I carry it now?” Baekhyun repeats. “What do you mean?”

Baekhyun’s looking at him with furrowed brows. The lights around him disappear little by little.

Panic settles in his chest, along with confusion. He doesn’t know why he said what he just said.

“Have we met way before?” Baekhyun presses. “Do you _know_ me?”

The dull ache returns. Kyungsoo ignores the pain.

“Forget I said anything,” Kyungsoo tries. He walks towards the edge of the roof. Below them, city street lights and neon signs blink, and the distant sound of traffic join the cacophony of the night. “I am not being myself lately.”

Baekhyun inches towards him. He sits down, swings his feet on the edge. The crease between his brows remain. Kyungsoo sits down beside him.

Baekhyun places a hand on his forehead. "Are you sick?"

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo admits. “It is rare for grim reapers to get sick. And besides,” He gulps, “The illness that has been plaguing me - if that’s what it is - seems to be beyond the realm of the mortal world.”

“Where does it hurt?”

Kyungsoo points to where his heart is supposed to be. “In here,” He says under his breath, “From within.”

“Oh,” The hand on his forehead falls down. “I see.” The smile on Baekhyun’s face falters but reappears just as quickly as it has faded. “Can I take you out tonight? I know a place that could probably, uh, lessen the pain.”

Kyungsoo can’t find it in himself to say no. “I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“Great!” Baekhyun beams. Standing up, he dusts off his pants. “It’s a date, then.”

 

Baekhyun’s idea of a date, as it turns out, involves a hefty amount of chicken gizzard and soju at a run-down restaurant around the block. Kyungsoo could only throw a deadpan stare to their table as the old lady brings in their orders.

Baekhyun pours him a shot. Begrudgingly, he accepts it with two hands and drains it quickly.

“When you said it’s a ‘date’, I thought we were going to dine at a restaurant with nice beef,” Kyungsoo accuses.

“It is still a date!” Baekhyun retorts. “Nothing beats having alcohol at a good, ‘ol diner, y’know. I see humans do this a lot when they’re sad.”

“You’re lucky I like soju,” Kyungsoo says. Baekhyun just smiles, impish.

He pours himself and Baekhyun a glass, and the fairy clinks their glasses together. Baekhyun shoots it one go but wrinkles his face in distaste after. Kyungsoo snorts.

“Meh, I’ve always liked whiskey better,” Baekhyun says before throwing a gizzard to his mouth to chase the aftertaste away.

“Why did you bring me here, then?”

“Because I think it’s romantic,” Baekhyun answers with a smile, “Just two old men, bonding over drinks.”

“Old is an understatement to describe me,” Kyungsoo chuckles, “I have lived for three hundred years, worth three lifetimes or more in human terms—”

“If you think you’re old, what does that make me then, ancient?” Baekhyun counters. “You know what, don’t answer that. I’m five hundred years old. Everyone looks like children to me.”

“You look young for five hundred years old.”

“Don’t make me laugh.”

“You already do.”

Baekhyun shakes his head, cackling. “I didn’t expect you have humor in you. What a surprise.”

“I only say what I deem is appropriate,” Kyungsoo explains.

Baekhyun shakes his head again, waves him off. He pours himself another shot. “I like this. I like the normalcy. Makes me crave life a little bit.”

“Do you wish to be a mortal again?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yes,” Baekhyun says, then corrects himself, “Not really.” He throws a couple of gizzards into his mouth, then says around a mouthful, “If you think about it, we’re doing quite well on our own, aren’t we? We eat, we sleep, we need a roof over our heads. We’re like humans in that respect.”

Baekhyun leans over, brows creasing in thought. “I don’t know about you, but..isn’t what we do considered living too? We’re dead but we could breathe and feel things. It’s actually kind of weird if you think about it.”

Kyungsoo hums. He’s been a grim reaper for as long as he could remember, he bears no memory of his mortal life. His reaper abilities aside, he wonders if there would be stark differences between the life he leads right now and the life he could have had, had he been reborn as a human again.

But then he recalls the immense sadness he’s been feeling more frequently and thinks — _maybe_ , he just thinks — maybe he’s as miserable as some human beings are, if not more.

“The pain that you feel..” Baekhyun starts, “It’s a proof of the life you lead.”

“I don’t even know where it’s coming from,” Kyungsoo says honestly, hand clutching his chest, “My lone duty in this life, if you could call it like that, is to welcome the souls of the dead. I don’t have a reason to be sad and yet,” He heaves a sigh. “It’s as if there is something missing.”

“Don’t tell this to anyone but,” Kyungsoo says softly, “Lately, I find myself thinking about what I did in my past life, what I have forgotten. Maybe I could not find the cure for my pain because I forgot what it is.”

“Maybe,” Baekhyun agrees, “Everything that happens stays inside you, even if you don’t remember it.”

“Will you peek into your past life, if you were given the chance?” Kyungsoo asks.

“I would,” Baekhyun answers in a heartbeat, “I’d love to find out if we’ve met in the past and see if you were just as cute as you are right now in that previous lifetime. Maybe that’ll explain why you fascinate me so much.”

Baekhyun’s lips curl into a smile, eyelashes fluttering as he tilts his head and openly stares at Kyungsoo’s face. He looks so sincere, so beautiful and bright, that Kyungsoo's met with an urge to touch him, just to see how warm he’d feel under his fingertips. He doesn’t, though, and settles in clasping his hands together on his lap instead.

A tiny smile tugs at the corners of Kyungsoo’s mouth and then white flashes in his vision for a millisecond, dressing Baekhyun in the same plate armor that the man in his dream adorns.

Kyungsoo blinks rapidly and the vision goes away.

A name rings at the back of his mind, strange yet familiar.

_Boxian._

 

\---

 

“I don’t understand why you have to drag me all the way here, hyung,” Jongin complains, “You could’ve done this all by yourself.”

Kyungsoo raises a finger to shush his company, not bothering to look up from the material he’s reading, “You’re the only friend that I know who likes books.”

“Yeah, I like books, but you didn’t tell me we’re going to spend the entire morning going through this pile,” He sulks, points at the huge stack of history books on their table. “What are you even studying for? A college entrance exam? And you only call me a friend when it’s convenient for you.”

Kyungsoo looks up, glances at Jongin who immediately ducks his head when he meets his stare.

“This won’t take too long,” He says, “I’ll be done soon.”

“That’s what you said two hours ago,” Jongin whines.

Kyungsoo ignores him and resumes skimming through the book he’s holding. They’re at the city library, where Kyungsoo has decided to do his research about the names he’s been encountering in his dreams. He recounted his experience to Jongin and the other reaper has told him that if the people he's been dreaming about are real and are a prince and a warrior respectively, then surely they must have been accounted in historical literature.

Kyungsoo heeds his advice and takes him along, goes tirelessly through a pile of literature to find any semblance of an answer to what he’s looking for. _Boxian_ , the name rings in his mind. He could be the key to the door that’s been left locked by the heavens within his soul. _Boxian_.

Kyungsoo may have forgotten, three lifetimes and beyond completely wiped away from his memories but someone — something else in this world might remember. And he’s going to do everything in his power to find out.

Jongin, despite his complaints, actually helps him in his task. He’s leafing through a page when he speaks up again, “Hyung, what is the name that you’re looking for again?” He points to a word printed on the yellowed page. “Isn’t it this one?”

Kyungsoo practically snatches the book from Jongin’s grasp, eyes skimming over the text fast.

 

_The spring has come, and once again_

_The sun shines in the sky_

_So gently smile the heavens_

_It almost makes me cry_

_When blossoms droop and die._

 

He runs a thumb over the text, stopping when he sees the name of the author — _Jingxiu._

 

_Jingxiu, the 6th ruler of the Baekje dynasty. Born at the beginning of winter on 612 B.C, he was the first among the king’s sons, he was the direct heir to the crown._

_Loved by his people during his rule, he was an emperor known to have personally fought for his country during his reign. The poem written above is his last work. It was rumored to have been a gift for his friend and right-hand man, the warrior Boxian, who died along with his side during the Last Battle of the Three Kingdoms._

_Jingxiu reigned until his death. He died from grief._

 

  
Kyungsoo looks up. “Jongin, what does it mean when someone dies from grief?” A lump catches in his throat.

Jongin sighs, as if the words he’s going to say next are physically painful for him to articulate.

“It means the person killed himself, hyung,” He offers, “I thought you already know this.”

Pain spikes up in Kyungsoo’s chest. He steadies his breath, the page from the book wrinkling in his grip.

“Actually, hyung, I’ve been thinking,” Jongin starts, “you know how they say our reincarnation as a grim reaper is a punishment directly related to the crime we committed in our past life? What if we died of grief too, like Jingxiu? What if the divinity gave us this job because it’ll be ironic to like, be the one to guide the dead when you’ve craved death all your life?”

Kyungsoo hums along but the rest of Jongin’s words fall on deaf ears. As pain clamps on his being, his vision fills with a distant memory — of a man once born during the freezing winter, gazing past his window, waiting for death to claim him.

 

_“I’m sorry, my love,” Jingxiu says, breath stuttering. Tears drip down his face, now old and wrinkled with age, and he holds out his hand for the last time, just like how he did many years back when he’s made his promise._

_It almost feels like a lifetime ago._

_“I cannot wait for spring anymore.”_

 

_\---_

 

Kyungsoo’s cleaning the teacups from the antique shelf when the door to the tea room swings open, wind chimes clanking loudly, announcing the arrival of a new soul.

The deceased is a young girl in her teens who gives him a polite bow the moment she sees him. He points to the lone table in the room with his eyes, and the girl throws him a small smile before making herself comfortable in the seat.

Kyungsoo follows shortly, watching the girl from his peripheral while he pours her tea. The girl remains silent while she looks around. The silence is a little strange, albeit welcome, for souls around her age are typically met with confusion the moment they enter the realm.

“Aren’t you going to ask any questions?” Kyungsoo tries, placing the teacup in front of her.

The girl shakes her head. “I know who you are, ahjussi.” She smiles. “I’ve accepted my fate.”

Kyungsoo smiles as well. Rare are those who move onto the next life with an open heart.

“You’re a brave girl,” He says, then gestures towards the teacup. "That is the tea of oblivion. It will erase your memories of this life and purge you from all your sins and suffering."

“Thank you,” She says. She lifts the teacup to her lips, then pauses. “Before I drink this, can I ask you one question?”

Kyungsoo nods. 

“Will I meet my mom in heaven?” She asks, voice thinning at the edges. She sounds so painfully innocent that a little part of Kyungsoo also fractures at the seams.

He looks into the girl’s eyes and sees sorrow and longing. Somewhere in between, he sees a glimmer of hope too.

“There are no promises that you will,” He says honestly, “But I’m sure wherever she is, she'll be happy to meet you again.”

“Thank you, ahjussi,” The girl says. With a smile still on her lips, she drinks the tea.

As Kyungsoo watches her leave, he sends a little prayer to the heavens, wishing for the divinity to grant her the reunion she deserves.

 

Rain is falling softly when Kyungsoo goes out of his apartment again. The steady pitter-patter is a hushed whisper of the sky to the ground, gentle and comforting. Despite the drizzle, the sun is still shining. The weather is wistful and dreamy and Kyungsoo would have loved to bask in it if it didn’t remind him of the sorrow of a certain someone.

Kyungsoo catches Baekhyun sitting under the waiting shed at the side of the road, a small birthday cake placed idly on his lap.

“A birthday again?” He prompts.

Baekhyun shrugs. A pout lingers in his mouth and he looks sullen, his shoulders drooping. Kyungsoo’s starting to think the sky must be mourning with him, for whatever reason it might be.

He’s tempted to ruffle his hair, to tell him it’s alright, that despite the gloomy weather, the sun still shines in springtime because of him. But he can’t find the courage to, so he joins him on the bench, inches closer until their knees are bumping, hoping it’ll get his message across somehow.

“The child never made it,” Baekhyun says quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo offers, “Even if I told you, it wouldn’t change a thing.”

Baekhyun throws him a pointed look.

Kyungsoo nudges him on the shoulder. “Are you mad?”

Baekhyun sighs, shakes his head. “You’re only doing your job, like me. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s.”

The rain peters out, the last drops catching on the leaves of the trees nearby.

Baekhyun huffs. “I get lonely, sometimes. Everyone’s light eventually goes out—” He takes out the candle from the cake and inspects it against the sunlight, “—and then there’s me. My candle doesn’t even need to be lit in the first place. There’s nothing to be put out.”

“That’s because you are the light,” Kyungsoo counters, “And I hope you don’t forget that I am immortal too.”

Baekhyun glances at him, blinks, and then he’s breaking out into a grin, scrunching his nose as he flashes that smile that Kyungsoo’s increasingly growing fond of.

“It gets less lonely when I remember that I have you here with me,” Baekhyun admits, “A grim reaper hanging out with a fairy..who would have thought?”

 _The almighty_ , Kyungsoo wants to say. He’s never forged a bond with other entities before, much less a fairy, but he guesses there’s a first time for everything.

“Baekhyun,” He tries, “Do you want to go on a dat—”

“Yes!” Baekhyun exclaims and bounces on his feet, “I’ve been waiting for you to do that, actually.”

A chuckle bubbles up in Kyungsoo’s throat. “You’ve been waiting for me to ask you out?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun confirms, locking eyes with him momentarily, and Kyungsoo feels the air get punched out of his lungs for a brief second, “And even if you didn’t, I would have asked you out myself. ‘Can I take you out for coffee? Or would you prefer to eat somewhere fancy’? I would have popped those questions sooner or later.”

Kyungsoo smiles, feeling the sun on his skin again. “You want to hang out with me that much?”

“Yeah...I guess,” Baekhyun says softly, “I don’t know if I already told you this, but there’s something about you that just keeps drawing me in.”

Swallowing thickly, Kyungsoo tries to steady his breathing as the dull ache in his chest returns, now coupled with the loud thrumming of his heart.

Baekhyun tears away his gaze, scratches his ear. “Anyway, where do you want to go? Coffee? I still owe you that nice beef from last time.”

“Anywhere,” Kyungsoo replies, “Anywhere’s fine, as long as it’s with you.”

Baekhyun smiles brightly, eyes twinkling with what Kyungsoo could only constitute as happiness. “Good — no, great. Let me just drop off this cake where it’s supposed to be, and we’ll eat.”

Baekhyun leads him to the other side of town. Kyungsoo trails after him in silence, content in watching his back as he traverses through the labyrinth of the city.

They stop by a small, worn-down house located in a narrow alleyway. Baekhyun places the birthday cake gently by the gate, pink fairy lights emitting from his hands. He rings the doorbell.

“That child would’ve been 16 today,” Baekhyun says matter-of-factly, “She’s always wished for a birthday cake.”

A wave of familiarity strikes Kyungsoo.

 

_“These cats have always wished for a home during winter,” Boxian says, stroking the fur of the kitten who has nuzzled against his thigh. “So I’m providing them one.”_

_Jingxiu peers over his friend’s shoulder, sees the shed he created out of twigs and straw. The cats outside the palace have gathered inside them, relishing in the warmth._

_“How did you learn that’s their wish?” Jingxiu asks._

_Boxian stands up and turns to face him, a smile already shining brightly on his face._

_“That’s because I always knew how to listen to them.”_

 

Baekhyun stands up and turns to face him, but suddenly, all he could see is the warrior from his dreams.

“Kyungsoo..?” Baekhyun asks, tilting his head to the side. “Is there anything wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo lies, “Let’s go. I’m starving.”

True to his word, Baekhyun takes him to a nice restaurant known for its good selection of beef. They order steak and whiskey, and Baekhyun talks him through it, each of his sentences punctuated with a smile.

By the end of their meal, Kyungsoo’s all too full. From the good food, from Baekhyun’s hearty laugh — he doesn’t know exactly; perhaps, it’s the combination of both. The loud thumping of his heart still hasn’t subsided, but he guesses he could live with it, not when he feels his pulse rate pick up every time Baekhyun does as much as glance at his direction.

Kyungsoo is strolling in the streets with Baekhyun, dusk falling upon them, when the fairy perks up and swings around.

“Hey, Kyungsoo. I want to show you something,” Baekhyun says.

Around them, the last dregs of sunlight are starting to rapidly fade into the vast darkness of the sky, until all there is left to see are the city street lights. They shine above them, glowing in yellow, red, and neon. And yet, all Kyungsoo could focus on is one light.

“What is it?” He asks.

Baekhyun grins. “Just follow me.”

Kyungsoo lets Baekhyun take the lead. Baekhyun navigates the city with practiced ease, wending his way through the thickening crowd with the grace and speed of someone who’s lived his life of five hundred years and counting in the same place.

Kyungsoo smiles at the thought. It takes one to know one.

The soft hum of the city falls distant on his ears, a hushed whisper as his hearing picks up on Baekhyun’s crooning instead. It takes him around five minutes to notice the fairy lights now dancing above their heads, glimmering in pink. Kyungsoo gets awestruck just like the first time he’s seen them, mouth gaping open at how magical they look.

“Why did you make them appear?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“So I won’t lose you,” Baekhyun simply answers.

Kyungsoo doesn’t have the heart to tell him Baekhyun will never lose him, for Baekhyun’s all he sees in a crowd of one hundred, five hundred, and maybe a thousand people more.

They end up at the foot of the hilltop on the outskirts of town, littered with trees of apricot and cherry blossoms swaying gently to the wind of spring time. As Baekhyun begins his ascent, tiny pinks lights weave between the trees and illuminate their path.

Kyungsoo laughs, feeling astonished at the sight that greets him, each and every tiny glowing fairy light sending a fuzzy kind of warmth that seeps through his skin.

He’s seen plenty of extraordinary things before in this lifetime — ghouls tempting humans, poltergeists wreaking havoc on nature, angels breathing life upon the dead — but never has he experienced having a fairy pull the stars down just for him.

“There’s only the two of us here. What is it this time, Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo asks, unable to fight back the wide smile that graces his face.

Baekhyun smiles softly, the color of his hair now matching the pink flush that dusts his cheeks.

“Nothing. I guess I just wanted to see how the lights would look like reflected in your eyes.”

The answering sound that comes out of Kyungsoo’s mouth is a cross between a gasp and a laugh. “How do they look like?”

Baekhyun stares him directly in the eye, a flicker of his own magic caught in his irises. Kyungsoo could gaze at them forever.

“They’re everything,” Baekhyun whispers, and Kyungsoo wants to tell him no one else is listening except for the sky and the blossom trees, until Baekhyun adds, “Everything that I’d love to have.”

Baekhyun’s eyes flicker towards his lips. Kyungsoo waits with bated breath, but then Baekhyun tears away his gaze, turning around to resume his walk. Fairy lights dance just above his shoulder blades, and Kyungsoo imagines what it’ll look like if Baekhyun were to have glowing fairy wings.

The temperature feels warmer. Spring usually carries the last frost of winter, but tonight just feels like an evening caught between spring and summer. Kyungsoo realizes he doesn’t really mind, though.

He catches up to Baekhyun until he’s walking by his side. As they climb up the cobblestone, the backs of their hands graze past. Baekhyun glances at him, an impish smile back on his lips, and then he’s grabbing Kyungsoo by the hand, tugging him closer as he sprints.

A sting shoots up from Kyungsoo's fingertips, traveling its way up, and the memories flood back in his mind, images of a distant past flying before his eyes.

 

_It’s a warm night between spring and summer when Boxian leads him to the hilltop decorated in a blanket of pink trees._

_“Let’s slow down!” Jingxiu cries, breath panting as he comes to a halt. Boxian turns to face him, a crease blooming between his brows._

_“You can’t stop in a race!” Boxian scolds. His voice is rough and cracks at the edges, the prime evidence of their adolescence. Despite this, the words he say remain heavy and firm._

_“Do enlighten me, my friend,” Jingxiu starts, throwing a pointed a look at their intertwined fingers, “But is it really a race when you’re holding my hand the entire time?”_

_Boxian retracts his hand, realizing what he has done. “A king must have strong bones and muscles,” He says instead, dodging the topic entirely. “That is why you must train and run.”_

_“I do not think I am ready to be a king,” Jingxiu says, “You are more befitting of the crown, if I may honestly say so.”_

_Boxian swats him hard on the chest. “But you are the prince! You are destined to be the king. The heavens have ruled that.”_

_Jingxiu sighs. “If it is my destiny to be the king, what is yours, then?”_

_A smile paints Boxian’s face, warm as the sun. “My destiny is to be by your side and protect you as long as I could.”_

_He bows with grace. “I am your warrior, your Highness.”_

 

Kyungsoo comes to a stop, causing Baekhyun to halt in his tracks. Baekhyun turns around to face him, eyebrows knitting the moment he sees his expression.

“Kyungsoo..?” Baekhyun asks, “What is—”

Kyungsoo immediately retracts his hands from Baekhyun’s grasp, as if electrified.

“W-why?” Kyungsoo tries, and he realizes he’s crying. “Why did I see that man in your past? Why does he keep appearing in my dreams? Who are you, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun inches closer towards him, worry and confusion now etched on his face.

“Kyungsoo…”

Kyungsoo steps back, eyes shutting close from the pain squeezing his chest.

When he opens his eyes again, he sees Baekhyun, but he also sees the warrior he once grew to love a lifetime ago.

_He was wind and he was sky._

_He was earth and he was light._

Realization dawns on Kyungsoo.

_Boxian._

“Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun tries again, reaching out a hand.

Kyungsoo runs.

\---

 

The next day, Kyungsoo doesn’t see Baekhyun. He goes to work, ushers in the newly departed souls, and goes for an evening stroll before returning back home. He doesn't run into any wandering tooth fairy on his way. He doesn’t either on the following day or the day after that. The week rolls by.

Kyungsoo is terrified. He knows it sounds ridiculous, for the guardian of death — an entity feared by many — to be scared of his past and the life he once lived, of all things. But maybe that’s exactly the reason why: he is the grim reaper. He’s _not_ supposed to feel. His only purpose in this lifetime is to do his duty, and none of that includes being plagued by feelings he’s never felt so strongly before: a sense of longing for a lover and the life he once had.

Despite this, Kyungsoo lives, if the routine he has set for himself over the past almost three hundred years could be considered as living. He wakes up every morning with the heavy weight of his past, goes to work, eats, goes back home, and sleeps. He looks for Baekhyun in between.

The fairy remains nowhere to be found.

Kyungsoo has just woken up from another vivid dream when a loud knock raps from outside. Heart racing in his chest, he dashes towards his door. He knows he’s a little too hopeful, but maybe, just maybe—

“Minseok-hyung?” Kyungsoo blurts out, confusion washing over him when he discovers who’s on the other side of the door.

“Kyungsoo,” Minseok starts, voice gruff and low, “I am here as the representative of the internal audit team.  I am here to inform you have committed the violation of peeking into another person’s past, and therefore, will be suspended from your duty. Your suspension is effective immediately.”

Kyungsoo blinks. “Will I get banished or..?”

“No,” Minseok says, then sighs deeply. “Don’t worry, the higher-ups know it wasn’t your fault. This suspension is only temporary.” Minseok pats him on the shoulder. “Take that time off to reflect and rest. I know how tiring it could get, even if it wasn’t your own memories coming back to you.”

Kyungsoo nods in understanding. Then, he  asks, “Hyung, what if you could see yourself in that person’s past?”

Minseok looks him in the eye. “Then, you must have been important to that person, in one way or another, at some point in their life.” He puts on his hat. “Rest well, Kyungsoo. You need it.” And then he leaves.

Kyungsoo does everything but rest in the next couple of days. He knows Minseok means well and as his junior, he should probably heed his advice, but it’s hard to stay put in one place when you’ve been wired to work all your life.

He cleans his apartment and cooks. He roams around and keeps an eye out for children he sees on the streets, making sure that no malicious spirit or mortal hovers around them. It feels weird not having the means to see the amount of life a person has left — measured in hours, minutes, and a thousand milliseconds, but without his wristwatch, he has no way of seeing them.

And just like that, time passes him by. Just like that, Kyungsoo realizes, he’s just another spirit wandering aimlessly, stuck between the realm of the mortal world and the next life. Longing for a life long gone, yet impossibly terrified of what’s about to come next, of what he will be.

At the back of his mind, Kyungsoo wonders if Baekhyun feels the same way too, if he looks for him in places where they met before.

But that’s unlikely.

For this lifetime, Kyungsoo reminds himself, is a punishment after all.

 

\---

 

Kyungsoo meets him when he walks out of the grocery store. He's standing on tiptoes, eyes searching for a person on the other side of the glass door.

“Junmyeon-hyung?” Kyungsoo calls after him.

Junmyeon whips his head to the side, surprise coloring his features when he sees who’s called his name. Kyungsoo jogs up to him and Junmyeon welcomes with open arms.

“Hyung,” Kyungsoo says with a smile, genuinely happy to see the other reaper after a while, “How have you been? What are you doing here?”

“I’m good,” Junmyeon says, smiling back. “I’m looking at my wife.”

Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder and follows Junmyeon’s line of sight. He sees a small woman with a short hair, paying for her purchases at the counter. Beside her is a toddler, clutching her right hand.

“I assume you’ve heard about what happened to me,” Junmyeon laughs, but Kyungsoo can see he’s tense. “I know it’s wrong because she has a completely new life now, but I can’t help it.”

Kyungsoo hums. “It’s okay, hyung.”

“It’s ridiculous,” Junmyeon laughs again, but it sounds forced. “Everything is ridiculous..I’m ridiculous. I just keep watching her, even though she can’t see me, even if it’s stupid. The Almighty is probably laughing at me from up above.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid,” Kyungsoo says and he means it. “You just want to be sure that she’s safe.”

“I guess you could put it that way,” Junmyeon admits.

The mother and her child leave the grocery store, and Kyungsoo notices how Junmyeon follows them with his eyes.

“I’ve never really bothered with humans or thought about who I was before I became like this, until I met her,” He adds later. “Life really has a way of getting back to us, doesn’t it? It hits us when we least expect it. We don’t know what we had until it’s taken away from us.”

Kyungsoo nods.

“Maybe we’re not just meant to be together in this lifetime,” Junmyeon says, scratching his head. “We already had our time in our previous lives, and maybe the heavens thought that was enough.” He smiles again, but it’s sad and longing. “She looks happy and sound, and for me, that’s enough.”

“She seems to be living her life well,” Kyungsoo says.

“She is,” Junmyeon affirms, and Kyungsoo could see how he has remained in love with her after all this time. “And she remains just as beautiful as she was in her past life. Sometimes, it makes me believe that the Almighty really favors a select few, no matter how much they say they don’t. How come some souls remain just as bright no matter which incarnation they take form?”

Kyungsoo chuckles, his mind straying to the thoughts of a brave warrior and a fairy, a soul who carries light with him everywhere he goes.

“I don’t think there’s any explanation,” Junmyeon adds later, “other than it must be their fate. That’s just how this world works.”

Kyungsoo takes in Junmyeon’s words. If this is truly destiny at play, then must it also be the heavens’ ruling to bring him to a certain someone in this lifetime?

“Hyung,” Kyungsoo hesitates, but he figures there’s no better person to ask other than someone who shares his plight, and that’s Junmyeon. “Had..had things been different..would you take her back?"

Junmyeon gives him a warm smile and pats him on the head. “It’s not that simple,” He replies, “But I would have still tried, maybe. My love for her transcends life and death, it seems.”

Kyungsoo smiles back. “I could see that, hyung.”

“A rebirth is an opportunity to start anew, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon says, “But sometimes, it’s a second chance at things too.”

That night, Kyungsoo lies awake on his bed, Junmyeon’s words still ringing in his ears amidst the silence of his dark room. It takes him a while to fall asleep, but when he does, he dreams of the warrior of spring and his bright smile, waiting for him.

\---

 

He perches on the roof of the building, the world spread beneath him. Down below, the roads snake and curve like strings painted in silver and gold. The soft buzz of the city hums on his skin, a grave proof of the life that breathes from within its maze, each soul that moved shining just as brightly as the street lights that illuminate their path.

These are thousands of lights glowing from above and below him and yet, Kyungsoo still seeks a different, specific one.

He looks for him. He jumps from one building to another, his feet picking up wind, and scans the rooftops and trees. A breeze blows past his face, the air brimming with the sweet scent of spring.

Kyungsoo knows he’s close.

His feet take him to the side of the river where the apricot and cherry blossom trees stand. The trees sway when he lands, and a gush of wind sends the petals falling to the ground, as if the flowers welcome him in his arrival.

A tiny pink light catches his eye and Kyungsoo reaches out a hand to grasp it, but it quickly flies away. The tiny light becomes two, and then becomes three, until it forms a string of glowing lights in the air hovering in the air. Kyungsoo trails after them.

The lights weave around the trees and the fallen petals scrunch beneath his feet the further he walks. It ends on the far end of the river where a bridge connects the adjacent streets. Standing in the middle is Baekhyun, looking expectant, as if he’s been waiting for him.

Kyungsoo remembers his dream. He approaches him tentatively, his chest growing heavy when he sees the lack of a smile that usually graces the other man’s features.

“Why are you here?” Baekhyun asks when he draws closer, barely a foot separating them.

“I followed the lights,” Kyungsoo says, “And they led me to you.”

Baekhyun scoffs, looks away. “That’s funny. The last time I showed them to you, you ran away.”

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says.

Baekhyun looks at him again, but now his eyes are accusing. “All I did was hold your hand,” He says, “If you don’t like it when people touch you, you should have just told me so. Was running away really necessary? Were you that disgusted? I was hurt pretty badly, y’know.”

Kyungsoo forces down a smile. He doesn’t know where to begin when it’s a whole lifetime and more that he has to explain.

“In my dreams, you’re always leaving,” Baekhyun says, “You didn’t have to make me experience it in real life too.”

Kyungsoo feels a lump catch in his throat. “Y-You dreamed of me too?”

Baekhyun pouts. “I dream of you often. It’s always about you either leaving me..or you’re a prince. Apparently, I think about you that much.”

Kyungsoo feels his pulse pick up its rate. He holds Baekhyun by the shoulders. “What else did you see?”

“I saw myself,” He says. “I always see myself with you in that dream and then I’d wake up, suddenly missing you.”

Heart racing a mile a minute, Kyungsoo cusps Baekhyun by the face, forcing the fairy to look him in the eye. “Do you remember who I am Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun lowers his gaze. "I..I'm afraid I don't," He admits and something in Kyungsoo's heart cracks a little. He knew it was futile to expect Baekhyun to remember just like he had, but— "What am I forgetting, Kyungsoo?" Baekhyun asks, voice barely above a whisper.

Kyungsoo gulps, unable to formulate an answer. Baekhyun blinks. Kyungsoo knows he’s being confusing right now, but at the same time he’s also so scared, his hands are shaking. Baekhyun doesn’t seem to mind though, for he doesn’t push him away. Instead, he lays a hand on the top of his, holding him still.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says softly, gaze unwavering, “Show me what I don’t know. Tell me what I need to know.”

Kyungsoo can hardly breathe. Baekhyun runs a thumb on his lips, tracing the seams.

“A grim reaper’s kiss will make memories of your past life come back, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo tries to warn, but his voice comes out a little shaky.

The smile that answers him is soft and assuring, and Kyungsoo realizes his search has finally ended, for he’s found the light in Baekhyun’s smile.

“I know,” Baekhyun replies, eyes sparkling, “I could take it, so please just kiss me.”

Baekhyun’s eyes flutter shut. There are a million reasons why Kyungsoo shouldn’t be doing this, but as Baekhyun shuffles closer, Kyungsoo finds himself curling a hand around Baekhyun’s neck in return, and then he leans forward, pressing their lips together.

Baekhyun tastes sweet. Baekhyun tastes like the secrets and the feelings that Kyungsoo’s been holding back deep inside him all the years. Baekhyun kisses him back like he’s been craving to do this for a long while already, and Kyungsoo has half a moment to revel in the softness of Baekhyun’s lips against his before warmth fizzles on his skin, his memories all crashing down.

 

_It is on the last day of winter inside a forest where the trees stand naked, when Jingxiu hears the cries of his men, loud and echoing in the mountains._

_“Victory is ours!”_

_Swords are raised high up in the air and plates are shed haphazardly. The land is covered by a thin carpet of snow, pristine and crisp, and yet all Jingxiu could see is red._

_Red that seeps through the snow. Red that flows from his hand._

_Jingxiu struggles to stay still, the cries of victory falling on deaf ears as he cradles a bloodied man in his arms._

_"Jingxiu,” Boxian coughs, fingers trembling as he reaches out to lay a hand on Jingxiu’s face. Jingxiu grabs it, holds him still. “Jingxiu..don’t cry.”_

_A sob racks through Jingxiu’s body, causing tears to stream down his face. An arrow has pierced through Boxian’s heart and Jingxiu has done everything in his might to suppress the wound, but the bleeding wouldn’t stop._

_Jingxiu tries to focus on his warrior’s face, now running out of color in each passing second._

_“Boxian!” Jingxiu wails, “Y-you said you’d always be by my side! And yet…”_

_Boxian smiles. “Jingxiu,” He says, and strokes Jingxiu’s cheek with a bloodied thumb, wiping away his tears. “Jingxiu..my king, my love. You have done well.” He winces, fights through the pain. “I-I am sorry...I cannot see victory with you ‘til the end.”_

_Jingxiu shakes his head. “You can’t leave me like this, Boxian,” He chokes out, breath stuttering. “You can’t do this to me.”_

_“We will meet again, Jingxiu,” Boxian whispers, the light in his eyes now dimming. “I will wish for the divinity to let me come back to you. I will come to you as the wind, I..I will come to you as spring,” He slides another hand on Jingxiu’s neck, “S-so..please wait for me.”_

_Jingxiu nods, bends down to kiss him on the forehead. “Don’t you bail out on me, you bastard.”_

_Boxian laughs. “I won’t.” And then his eyes flutter shut._

_Jingxiu screams and holds Boxian tighter, a steady cry of no’s sputtering like a mantra on his tongue._

_As daylight breaks in the horizon and winter gently melts into spring, all that could be heard are the cries of the king, abandoned by the lifeless warrior in his arms._

 

 

Kyungsoo opens his eyes, realizes there’s wetness dripping down his cheeks. Baekhyun pulls away, though just barely, as he whispers on Kyungsoo’s lips.

“In the end, I fulfilled my promise, didn’t I?” Baekhyun says, voice a little shaky. He stares at Kyungsoo’s face, runs a thumb on his tear-stricken face, even though he’s crying himself. “When I told you I’ll come to you as spring...I did it. I’m here, Jingxiu.”

Kyungsoo nods. He takes Baekhyun’s hand in his grasp, kisses its back and its fingertips, just to prove to himself that this is real, that Baekhyun is real, and this is not just another fragment of his dreams.

“I’m sorry if it took a while,” Baekhyun says and cards a hand through his hair. “You must have been lonely.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, “No. I’m - I’m just glad you’re here with me.” He smiles. “I’m happy," He chokes out through his tears, "Please don’t leave me again.”

Baekhyun laughs, loud and clear, and the trees sway around them, showering the ground with more flowers of white and pink.

“I won’t,” Baekhyun says, his smile brighter than all the thousands of glowing lights that Kyungsoo has ever seen, “Your Highness.”

Baekhyun presses closer and Kyungsoo finally meets him halfway, three hundred years and a few lifetimes too late.

Life comes to him in the middle of spring. Kyungsoo smiles into another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. boxian and jingxiu are baekhyun's and kyungsoo's chinese names respectively (eta: thank you to people who corrected me re: baekhyun's name in hanja!)
> 
> 2\. the poem featured in the fic is [spring no.33](https://100poets.wordpress.com/2011/03/27/spring-is-here-poem-number-33/) by ki no tomonori
> 
> 3\. i have developed a new hyper fixation on baekhyun's beautiful teeth/smile, and this fic is an excuse to write about that, ha
> 
> 4\. i just really love the concept of reincarnation and the correlation between spring and rebirth ;u;
> 
> 5\. i hope you enjoyed reading!
> 
> come say hi on [twitter](http://twitter.com/ksoobot/) or [curiouscat](http://curiouscat.me/ksoobot) :>


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